Overwhelmed
by angelgurl464
Summary: Buffy has come back from a night's patrol, and finds herself thinking about her 'friends' and Spike. "They were supposed to be my light at the end of the tunnel. I guess they were a train."
1. Chapter 1

Buffy slumped against her front door, tired from her patrol. A gang of fledglings jumped at the cemetery. Not any real threat, but they still took her by surprise. All she wanted was to go up to her bedroom, get her pyjamas on and go to bed. Not that she would get any sleep. She still woke up from nightmares of waking up in a coffin.

The day was as much of a struggle as was the night. Having to pretend to be strong, nothing-can-faze-me Buffy. There was nothing she could about it. They all expected it of her: Dawn, Giles, Xander and Willow. Especially Willow. She's all 'I brought you back, be happy, be grateful to me for pulling me out of that hell dimension that I didn't even check if you were in or not.' Of course she didn't say any of this to them. They would be crushed and she didn't want to hurt them like that.

Funny enough, Tara and Anya didn't push her like the others did. That they saw she needed some space to deal with anything. Funny how she wasn't all that close to Tara and Anya and yet, they are the ones that understand her the most at the moment. Well, them and Spike.

Buffy didn't know what to think of Spike. He was a mystery to her. She didn't know how to handle him. She knew how to deal with everyone else, but he saw through her forced smiles and happy façade. Not to mention that he's the only one who knows where she really was. She actually told him. She still doesn't know why she did that. She meant to never tell anyone, but... she couldn't stop herself admitting to him why she was the way she was. It was surprisingly easy to tell him. It's surprisingly to tell him anything. She found herself opening up to him, and she didn't know why. It scared her at how... free she was with him. How she didn't have to pretend to be all okay and in control.

She realised she was still slumped against the front door of her house. That she'd just been standing there, thinking. She sighed and thought to herself that she better go in and begin her act. She opened the door and went inside.


	2. Chapter 2

Because she was tired from her patrol, Buffy's vamp senses didn't pick up on the one watching her from the tree. Spike lit a cigarette and watched Buffy slump against her front door. He saw the fledgling gang attack her in the cemetery, but she dealt with them before he could jump in to assist. Watching her fight was one of his favourite things to do. She was so graceful, the way she moved and ducked. How she was so passionate in her fighting, a passion that he'd seen lacking in everything else she did. He watched how she was around her so-called friends. Angry at how they didn't even notice how forced and fake the smiles she gave them were. At how she lacked the energy and spirit she had before...

He took a drag from cigarette, the anger building inside of him thinking of them. But there was one turn of events that surprised him. It was the slayer starting to open up to him, maybe even trust him. No, no she didn't trust him, she just... I'm just a release for her. No expectations cause she'd know I would see straight through her.

Spike watched Buffy stand there, seemingly lost in her own little world. Silly bint. Shouldn't she know by now that any aspiring vampire could catch her off guard. It's a good thing he was here, protect from her own foolishness. Still, he couldn't blame her for being out of it, being torn out of Heaven and all.

That brought back all the anger towards her 'friends', particularly the witch, 'Red'. He noticed she'd been getting a bit, well a lot, more sure of herself when it comes to magic. Been getting arrogant and superior. He heard her and the Watcher that night, along with Buffy on the porch. She actually threatened Watcher. If he wasn't so wary of her at the moment, he would have given her a round of applause. But magic has consequences, and bringing someone back from the dead, that's asking for a big load of badness coming their way.

Looks like the Slayer getting ready to go inside now. Inside to all the pretenses and masks. Bloody hell, how he would like to smash all their heads together, especially the whelp and witch. Glinda he would leave alone though. She's got a good head on her shoulders, knows when not to push and leave well alone. He's got to have a talk with Lil' Bit. He know she's all happy 'bout having her sister back and all, but she's pushing her too hard as well. Wants the old Buffy back. They all do. Hell, he does too. He hates seeing the Slayer a shadow of her former self. He would even put up with all the insults and punches if she just smiled for real, like she used too. But she's different now, and he'll take her anyway she is. Got to start making her... maybe not happy, but comfortable 'bout begin here. Make things a little easier for her. Oh, she's going in now. Well, I'll wait out here. Make sure everything's okay.


	3. Chapter 3

**_Sorry about the change from 3rd person to 1st. It's just easier to write it like this. Also, sorry about the long update wait, I had coursework to do. To clear up any possible confusion this is set before Spike and Buffy start anything, before all the kisses and stuff, so Once More With Feeling hasn't happened yet, and everyone's still in the dark about the heaven thing. Anyways, hope you enjoy the rest of the story and please review. Makes me happy!_**

As she walked in Buffy was hit by the noise coming from the living room. Two voices rose above the rest: Xander and Willow. They seemed to be discussing me. Again. Trying to think of how to fix me. Make me better. To stop me from turning into this empty shell I'm becoming. Little do they know that it's because of them that I'm like this at all.

Walking into the living room, I see Dawn and Tara sitting on the couch. Xander and Anya were sitting together as well. Willow was standing arguing with Tara it seems, with Xander adding in little comments it seems. They stop when they see me in the door arch.

"Hi, Buffy, " Willow greeted me, with forced cheerfulness. "We were just discussing... what to eat for dinner. Yeah, that's it."

I gave a look, showing I wasn't convinced.

"Right. First, we've already had dinner, and anyways, why would that involve shouting at Tara?"

"What I wasn't shouting at Tara."

"I heard raised voices from outside."

"I told you, we were having a discussion."

"Okay, what were you having a 'discussion' about?" I said, doing the accompanying hand gestures.

"Nothing important."

"It must have been important to be arguing about."

"I told you we weren't arguing! Would you just shut up!" Willow shouted, her eyes turning black.

Everyone went silent.

We all just stared at Willow. Tara got up and put her hand on Willow's shoulder.

"Willow, baby, it's okay. It probably did sound like arguing from outside to Buffy. Calm down, okay?"

Willow's eyes slowly turned back to their normal blue and everyone sat in silence, not knowing what to say or do.

Xander cleared his throat and stood up.

"Well I think it's time for me and Anya to be getting home now. Right, Anya?" Xander grabbed Anya's hand and pulled her up.

"Oh, are we going home to play doctors and- " Anya started saying, but was cut off by Xander's hand covering her mouth.

"Not for public knowledge, Anya, " Xander got out. "Let's go home and give Willow some peace and quiet."

"Why, because she almost lost it and magicked us- " Anya was stopped again by Xander's hand over her mouth.

"Well, bye everyone." Xander shouted over his shoulder, dragging Anya behind him to the door.

The door slammed shut and everyone again was left in silence.

Tara put her arm around Willow and directed her towards the stairs.

"I think we'll just head up to bed now and you should probably get some rest as well, Buffy. Goodnight." Tara said softly.

"Goodnight, Tara... Willow." I replied, still slightly in shock from Willows outburst.

Dawn stood up from the couch and walked over and up the stairs, not saying a word to anyone.

I flopped down on the couch, completely drained from the evening's events.


End file.
